- Anti Joke

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

Potassium? K.

http://www.com/

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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