A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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