Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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