Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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