A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops