if you can read this you dont' need glasses

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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