How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops