How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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neil likes pube toast

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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