Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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