What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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