Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...