How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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