Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

it was all Tagart

How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...