Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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