What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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