What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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