Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

whats brown and booky a book.

roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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