A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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What's two plus two? Window

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops