How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +27

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops