A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a gassing chamber and you are a jew

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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