Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

boner

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

thumb_up thumb_down -8

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man penetrates another man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did john say to bob Hey bob

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops