What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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sadf

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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