A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

whats my name? Matt

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

why did the man throw a stone in the lake? because he'd had a long day at work.

A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

ring around the rosie ... your dead

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.

whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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