What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -7

teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how would you feel when your girlfriend dumps you really bad because she just dumped you man!!!1

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops