Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

10inch nice

thumb_up thumb_down -7

wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops