Holy Tulip Answer- Sexy Mofo

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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they're dead. idiot.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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whats my name? Matt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops