Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops