What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your face

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The GOV and the WHO?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The diamond one below is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops