what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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My Butthole.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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What Did Charles Manson Do For a Klondike Bar? He Bought One

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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