How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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Fat people

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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