Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What's big and long? My dick.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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