If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Wigan.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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