A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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GOODJESUSLORDALMIGHTY dis boy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can't even................ fhrejhklgfjgtedlfcgrbh http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=231&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=6-GniQ6ct-j0HM:&imgrefurl=http://katiespilling.blogspot.com/&docid=6oY2cEt2vFEq0M&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7nKXEePj87o/T5dBnSfhaBI/AAAAAAAAAHw/RNSE68GzbjU/s1600/Harry%252BStyles%252Bboy%252Bband%252BOne%252BDirection%252Barrives%252B1Tg3l2FYklYl.jpg&w=396&h=594&ei=2Y7HT6jnL4e69QSK2oW5Dw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=244&vpy=12&dur=543&hovh=160&hovw=106&tx=72&ty=122&sig=110416686013590693091&page=18&tbnh=160&tbnw=106&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:231,i:105

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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