the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Knock knock Go away

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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