Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

anti-joke.ru - russian style

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

You wanna hear a joke? Me too

What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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