Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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