Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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h

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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