Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops