What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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AIDS

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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