What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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Mogok Papiti.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops