why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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