What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops