Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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hi

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops