Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

What has two legs? Half a cat

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

Bob Saget

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

Misner is a twat.

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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