Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Yo mama's fat.

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 24

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

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Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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roy g biv

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Random letters vJKkBvCffsgfsjxmsocowdbwfeascbsa

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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