99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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