A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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why did the chicken cross the rode?????? i dont know because he felt like it???????????p.s.i actually dont know why he crossed the rode so go ask the next who makes a joke about a chicken crossing a rode?

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what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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