Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who's cooler than Ellie?? Turtleman hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

david what a baghead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +3

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops