What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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Asians.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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