why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the baby crying? Because she had a frog nailed to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

my egg roll

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops