A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the baby crying? Because she had a frog nailed to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

my egg roll

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops